Random Thoughts Deux

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Re: Random Thoughts Deux

Postby Judy » Mon Jun 11, 2012 8:56 pm

Mbwan,
I don't have a problem with blood sugar . . but started eating differently over a year ago. I don't eat grains of any kind, legumes, bananas, white potatoes but I have had a love affair lately with cheese . . . I haven't eaten pasta or a sandwich in over a year . . . mostly I cook for myself at home . . . I know what goes in my food when I fix it myself. Meat, chicken, fish, veggies, fruits. And I've restocked my spice shelf and am trying lots of different flavor combinations. And I love to cook . . . and BBQ season is here . . . so I'm MISTRESS OF THE FLAME :lollol: :lollol:
An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
Agatha Christie
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Re: Random Thoughts Deux

Postby dreab trawets » Thu Jul 05, 2012 8:41 pm

Had some spare time so thought I would write a couple of locked room mysteries.
Sort of a series.

Be nice, as they are not in anyway, shape, or form like Mr Slades.

Set in the 1960’s
BANG BANG BANG
Three shots reached the ear of Tanaka as she stood in the open area by the museum special vault
“What the fuck!!!”, she exclaimed, and looked at the curator of the exhibit
Time seemed to slow for a moment, then everything sped up, very fast.
Within two minutes of the shots two armed guards came hurtling down the stairs, guns drawn.
“everybody down.. NOW!!”, one of them screamed, the other moved to the side, covering his buddy.
Tanaka gently lowered herself to the ground, so as not to ruin her C.K. dress, or split it, as it was certainly tighter than most of her skirts.
Once the guards were satisfied that everybody was down, and nobody was holding guns, they advanced towards the closed vault.
The manager of the museum then appeared around the corner, “is it clear?”, he exclaimed..
“Yes sir, all clear”, came the reply from one of the guards.
All three advanced towards the vault, and the two guards took up station as the manager, and the curator inserted their keys, and turned in tandem to release the locking mechanism.
The door swung open, and as one guard crouched low to enter the vault, the other guard entered slowly.
After a couple of seconds, the call came out.” Call an ambulance, a guard has been shot.”
Tanaka looked up, and saw that there was one guard, lying on the floor.. blood pooling around his body.
Then she saw the exhibit case had been smashed, and her jewels were gone.
“NO!!!!!”, she exclaimed.. my diamonds, my DIAMONDS”

The police turned up very quickly, allowed everybody off the floor, and took statements from everybody.
The guard, who apparently was very dead, still though covered in blood, was being tended to by two medics who had appeared with the police.
“well he’s dead”, said one of the medics to the detective
“So what happened to my jewels??”, Tanaka asked.
“seems there was a commotion in the vault, one guard was shot by person or persons unknown.
And besides the dead guard, we have no other witnesses.”
“ My name is Rodgers, Detective Rodgers, and you are...?”, he said extending his arm
“My name is Tanaka Rinke, and those two diamonds were mine. I loaned them to this museum, and they said they would put the best security on them. Yet still my gems are missing...”

“They may be still in the vault”, said Rogers,” nothing has left there yet, no person has left the area, and i am inclined to believe that nobody will be going anywhere, for the moment”

“why?”
“Because i want to be certain nobody could get them out of the vault, and away”, said Rogers.” If you excuse me, i have some enquiries to make. FRANKIE!!!” with that bellow he advanced towards the police man guard ing the main vault area..
“don’t let anybody out without my permission”
Then Rogers went and spoke to Michael.
“hows it look Michael?”
“Well, the vault was sealed, locked, and with one armed guard. inside. The air vent is sealed, with enough air to allow the guard to breath. One window, with bars on, and locked from the inside.”

“and the jewels, what about the jewels?”, asked Rogers
“ We are searching the vault now, but there seems to be no sign of them. Intriguing!!” said Michael.

One hour later, the vault had been thoroughly searched, the jewels had not turned up.. Neither had the gun that shot the guard. All that had been found was some small bits of paper, a lot of glass, mixed with a lot of blood.

Tanaka was pacing up and down at this point, muttering to herself.

“ok folks”, said Rogers, “I want to see all you wallets, pockets, handbags, collars. We have a police woman here to do searches of all of you.”

“Somebody here has a gun, and two jewels on them.”, Piped up Michael, “Take the body down to the morgue.”
The two medics, sighed, and loaded the body onto the gurney.
“so, lets recap”, said Tanaka,” we have one guard shot dead, with a gun that nobody has found, and my two jewels are missing, in a vault, that nobody can get into, nobody can get out of.”
“And the display was being guarded by the armed guard, and the time frame didn’t allow anybody to escape, even if they could? Am i right?”, Tanaka stared at Detectives Rogers

“Looks that way, sorry”, said Rogers..
“Well sort it Mr!!”, said Tanaka, and strode off to be frisked by the female cop.

“couldn’t have happened to a nicer person..” said Michael under his breath, looking at tanaka.
“After my head has been chopped off, will I still be able to hear, at least for a moment , the sound of my own blood gushing from my neck? That would be the best pleasure to end all pleasure. “
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Re: Random Thoughts Deux

Postby dreab trawets » Thu Jul 05, 2012 8:43 pm

Part 2

What a day, Tanaka thought to herself, as she finally left the museum.
The jewels had not turned up, the gun hadn’t shown up.
The diamonds were insured, but it was the sentimental value that could not be replaced.

The car drew up along side, and Kimoso jumped out, ran around to the side door and opened it for her.
“When I say fast, I mean fast”, berated Tanaka as she got in the car.
“It took 10 minutes for you to get here, and you were parked around the corner.... don’t let it happen again”,
“No miss, sorry Miss”, said Kimoso.

She closed the door, and hurried around to the driver’s side.
“Where to miss?”
“WELL HOME OF COURSE... STUPID MAN”
“Yes Miss”
And off they drove, threading their way through the streets of Margate, until they finally reached the open road.

“Pull over here...” said Tanaka,” I need to get my medicine”

Kimoso stopped outside a small shop selling exotic whisky, and spirits from around the world, jumped out and ran around to the door.
He opened it and Tanaka strode out, purse in hand.
“Wait for me.”, she snapped, and walked into the shop.

Five minutes later she came out with a box. She slid back into the back seat.
Off they drove again, until finally they reached the house, or La Maison, as Tanaka liked to call it.
Once inside, Tanaka went straight upstairs to her locked office, opened it with the big iron key, entered, and closed it again. Locking it from the inside with the big iron bolt.
She then opened the safe, and took the cinnamon liqueur out.
“Soon my precious”, she whispered to it.
“My one little indulgence, Goldschlager...”
Then she stopped, and put it into the safe, closing it with a bang.
Then she kicked off her shoes, sunk into the leather chair, and closed her eyes, trying to let the days events wash out of her.
She awoke with a start, and looked at her watch, it said 5pm.
Time for a little drink before dinner she said.
She opened the safe; there was the bottle, still sealed.
She reached for a glass on the top of the safe, opened the bottle and poured herself a rather generous measure.
Just as she was putting the top back on, there was a knock on the door. “Tanaka, it’s ranky”, said the voice.
“Just in time”, Tanaka said, “let me undo the bolt”
She got up, and went to reach for the bolt to the door.
It was unlocked...
She swore she had locked it when she came in, but it was now unlocked.
She opened the door, and saw Ranky standing outside.
Her new acquisition as an assistant. Ranky was slim, and taut, but had breasts that could serve as floatation devices. And boy did she use them to full effect.
“Come in, come in,” said Tanaka... Make yourself at home,” I will pour you a drink of my precious”
She bent down to get another glass, and as ranky settled into the oversized bean bag, she handed her a drink.
“To us and our new adventure” said Tanaka
“To us”, said Ranky, and they both drunk from their glasses.
Then they settled down to look at the new websites and the earnings from the business. Talking about people and things that had happened during the night.
“Excuse me a minute, I must use the bathroom”, said Ranky, and went over to the private bathroom in Tanoaks office. She closed and locked the door.
Scrupulously clean, Tanaka loved having Ranky come around. She cleaned the toilet, bathroom, before and after she used it. An OCD of biblical proportions. Just like her breast.
Tanaka busied herself with the spreadsheets. Minutes passed, and no noise from the bathroom.
Then she heard the toilet flush.
Then there came a thud, a strangled ugh, and a scrabbling at the door, the bolt was pulled back, and the door opened slowly...
There was Ranky, on her hands and knees, scrabbling for air... Her eyes bloodshot, a scared look on her face.
In her hand she held a bottle of bleach...
And the smell coming from the bathroom, was making Tanaka nose run, eyes water, and she started to cough.
As Ranky fell over onto the floor coughing, bright red blood bubbled up from her mouth onto the carpet.
Tanaka run to the office door and opened it.
“Call an ambulance, quickly... its Ranky, she’s dying!!!”

“Call... an ..... Ambulance....” the room started spinning; she looked over and saw Ranky’s blood splattered face, her breathing laboured. And collapsed on the floor.
“Call...”
Blackness
“After my head has been chopped off, will I still be able to hear, at least for a moment , the sound of my own blood gushing from my neck? That would be the best pleasure to end all pleasure. “
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Re: Random Thoughts Deux

Postby Mbwun » Sat Jul 07, 2012 3:54 pm

You've got me stumped.
How hard can it be? - Jeremy Clarkson
Make no mistake, this is a Supercar. Looks good .. goes fast .. nothing else matters. - Jeremy Clarkson

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Re: Random Thoughts Deux

Postby dreab trawets » Sat Jul 07, 2012 6:15 pm

Looks like its just you Mbwun.

Everybody.busy working Saturdays..

If nobody can get in..
Can somebody get out?
Did anybody get out?
“After my head has been chopped off, will I still be able to hear, at least for a moment , the sound of my own blood gushing from my neck? That would be the best pleasure to end all pleasure. “
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Re: Random Thoughts Deux

Postby dreab trawets » Thu Jul 12, 2012 9:33 am

Part 3

“Tanaka.... Tanaka..., hello, wakey wakey, open your eyes please”, said Detective Rogers.
Tanaka opened her eyes, the room span for a while, and then came into focus.
She saw she was in a hospital room, Kimoso was in a chair, watching her, and detective Rogers was near her.

“There you go, welcome back.” Rogers said, moving away from the bed, and taking a seat.
“What, what happened?” said Tanaka, trying to rise up from her bed.

“A very near miss, that’s what happened.” said Rogers.
“The fumes coming off the bleach and vinegar solution, called Chlorine gas, could have killed you in an unventilated space, you were lucky you got the office door open in time...”
“What happened to Ranky...? Where is Ranky?” demanded Tanaka, getting back to a semblance of her old self.
“She, she didn’t survive, I am afraid... I am sorry for the loss of your friend...” Rogers said,

Tanaka closed her eyes,
“She was my friend, but not close, she was just another employee... its fine, she is replaceable”.

Kimoso looked at Rogers, Rogers looked at Kimoso.
What he had heard was true then about Tanaka. Her only love was for herself.

“So, when can I leave?” asked Tanaka.
“The doctor needs to give you a once over again, check your heart and lungs, and you should be fine to leave today, miss” said Kimoso.
“good, now make yourself useful and go find the doctor, whilst I answer the questions this man obviously has to ask, and a few questions myself about my diamonds” Tanaka dismissed her with a wave.

A couple of hours later, Tanaka was in her car, and Kimoso was driving her back to La Maison.

She pondered in her mind about Rogers had said about the jewellery disappearing.
The body of the guard had disappeared, and they reckoned that’s how the jewels were smuggled out. The blood was stage blood. The medics were obviously bogus, or they would have known the guard wasn’t dead, and the gun shots were Chinese firecrackers, the paper on the floor had residue on them.

She also thought about Ranky... even though she said it to the detective, and KImoso, she would miss Ranky. She had worked very hard to get her from her previous employer, and even though she was just another employee, she had shared a common goal with her. Money...

Deep in thought, Tanaka didn’t notice the car door was open and they were back at her house.
She slid out of the car, and walked towards the front door, which was opened by the cook, and the house keeper whose names Tanaka didn’t need to know.

“Welcome back Miss,”
“Welcome back, the bathroom has been cleaned, and defumed, I supervised it myself,” said the house keeper “I made sure nothing was touched...”
She gave her the big key back
“Really”, said Tanaka, “I will check for myself, thank you.”

And she brushed past them and made for the stairs.
The door was locked; she opened it, and tentatively walked into her office.
She looked around, nothing was different.
She checked the safe, untouched. Opened it and found everything in order.
The chair had been moved, and the carpet by the bathroom had been cleaned.
There was still an odour in the bathroom, but with the window opened it would clear.

She walked out the door, closed and locked it. Then went downstairs.
The cook was busy preparing dinner, her favourite, roast chicken, the smell was wonderful, but she never let on, as that would show weakness to her staff.

Oh well, time to start looking for another employee, she said to herself, and settled down on the sofa, and rung the little hand bell.

Kimoso came running, and stood in front of Tanaka.
“back to business then I am afraid,” said Tanaka,” i need the files on the prospective ladies, quickly now, quickly”
“Yes miss,” Kimoso said, and he rushed off to go to the filing cabinet.
He returned with a few files, made up of clips, and photos.
“You can go,” Said Tanaka and dismissed Kimoso with her hand.
She looked through the files...
“No...” she said out loud to nobody, and dis-guarded one file.
“Too old. Ms indeed”
“Possible, but with a little work”
“What a name, too many chances to spell it wrong”
“OK, well here is one”
She placed the others in a pile, and took the file in to the dining room.
Kimoso was laying out the dinner settings.
Tanaka looked at the places set...
“Why so many? I normally eat alone, unless guests are coming around?”
“Your mother is coming, remember miss?” said Kimoso.
“Oh god the battle axe, with a conscience, can’t you put her off.” Asked Tanaka,
Did Kimoso hear a hint of a gentle plea for help sentence from Tanaka?
“NO on second thoughts, its ok, just make sure it is short and sweet, dinner only, twenty minutes max, and then call me for an urgent phone call. Carry on”, said Tanaka, reverting to her normal self.

And she disappeared from the room.
She looked out the window, and saw it was raining.
“Hope she has an umbrella... “, Tanaka said to nobody, and went upstairs to her office.
An hour passed, and she left her office, closed and locked the door, and went downstairs.
Just in time to see a big car come swooping up the drive, and stop in a shower of gravel.
“Kimoso”, shouted Tanaka, “My mother has arrived.”
“KIMOSO!!”
“Yes miss,” said Kimoso coming down the stairs.
Tanaka looked out of the window, the rain was slashing down, and the wind blowing things every where and her mother had an umbrella. Damn, she thought.
“When she rings the bell, wait for about a minute before answering it, serves her right”, said Tanaka, and walked off towards the dining room.
The door bell rung, Kimoso waited.
The door bell rung again, still he waited.
Finally after a minute, he went to the door, and opened it.
What he saw was not a person standing in front of him, holding an umbrella, but a very dead looking person, sprawled out on the steps of the house.
Still holding the umbrella, Tanaka mother laid over the steps, her head caved in, and a grey substance was gently oozing out of her left ear.

“Oh dear”, said Kimoso.
“MISS!!! MISS!!!” She shouted, “We have a problem.”
“After my head has been chopped off, will I still be able to hear, at least for a moment , the sound of my own blood gushing from my neck? That would be the best pleasure to end all pleasure. “
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Re: Random Thoughts Deux

Postby Mbwun » Tue Oct 09, 2012 5:04 pm

Boy, for a website where there is not that much new being posted, those Bots sure spend a lot of time here. I wonder why?
How hard can it be? - Jeremy Clarkson
Make no mistake, this is a Supercar. Looks good .. goes fast .. nothing else matters. - Jeremy Clarkson

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AMBITIOUS, BUT RUBBISH!
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Re: Random Thoughts Deux

Postby Mbwun » Sun Oct 28, 2012 5:01 pm

7.7 magnitude earthquake in the province, and I felt nothing.

I am disappoint! :(
How hard can it be? - Jeremy Clarkson
Make no mistake, this is a Supercar. Looks good .. goes fast .. nothing else matters. - Jeremy Clarkson

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AMBITIOUS, BUT RUBBISH!
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Re: Random Thoughts Deux

Postby Mbwun » Thu Nov 22, 2012 4:08 pm

Thanksgiving wishes for all our American Sladists!

The Turkey Shot Out of the Oven

by Jack Prelutsky

The turkey shot out of the oven
and rocketed into the air.
It knocked every plate off the table
and partly demolished a chair.

It ricocheted into a corner
and burst with a deafening boom,
then splattered all over the kitchen,
completely obscuring the room.

It stuck to the walls and the windows.
It totally coated the floor.
There was turkey attached to the ceiling
where there'd never been turkey before.

It blanketed every appliance.
It smeared every saucer and bowl.
There wasn't a way I could stop it.
That turkey was out of control.

I scraped and I scrubbed with displeasure
and thought with chagrin as I mopped
that I'd never again stuff a turkey
with popcorn that hadn't been popped.
How hard can it be? - Jeremy Clarkson
Make no mistake, this is a Supercar. Looks good .. goes fast .. nothing else matters. - Jeremy Clarkson

Image
AMBITIOUS, BUT RUBBISH!
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Re: Random Thoughts Deux

Postby dreab trawets » Sun Dec 30, 2012 10:10 am

Food for thought??
And a great use of the English language

http://bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-20836616
“After my head has been chopped off, will I still be able to hear, at least for a moment , the sound of my own blood gushing from my neck? That would be the best pleasure to end all pleasure. “
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Re: Random Thoughts Deux

Postby Mbwun » Sun May 05, 2013 8:18 pm

This list fails without at least one Michael Slade novel cover:

http://www.shortlist.com/entertainment/ ... overs-ever
How hard can it be? - Jeremy Clarkson
Make no mistake, this is a Supercar. Looks good .. goes fast .. nothing else matters. - Jeremy Clarkson

Image
AMBITIOUS, BUT RUBBISH!
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Re: Random Thoughts Deux

Postby dreab trawets » Wed Oct 29, 2014 8:25 pm

Wilks...
Think on this..
Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

In my day D.T. we had a hoop, and horse chestnut trees to climb..
If you climbed a tree and it went wrong.. Ain't no blowing something to make it work again
“After my head has been chopped off, will I still be able to hear, at least for a moment , the sound of my own blood gushing from my neck? That would be the best pleasure to end all pleasure. “
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Re: Random Thoughts Deux

Postby dreab trawets » Mon Feb 09, 2015 8:10 pm

So...
Sladists..

In light of this twilight zone episode

The Twilight Zone Season 5, Episode 16 The Self Improvement of Salvadore...: http://youtu.be/0bKSgW42iVo

How many years Into the future would you sell??
How many years in the past??
If you had a definite 30 years to go..??
“After my head has been chopped off, will I still be able to hear, at least for a moment , the sound of my own blood gushing from my neck? That would be the best pleasure to end all pleasure. “
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Re: Random Thoughts Deux

Postby dreab trawets » Wed Feb 18, 2015 11:56 am

“After my head has been chopped off, will I still be able to hear, at least for a moment , the sound of my own blood gushing from my neck? That would be the best pleasure to end all pleasure. “
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