Random Thoughts Deux

Polls, funny pictures, jokes, must-see websites, personal announcements, you name it...

Random Thoughts Deux

Postby dreab trawets » Mon Sep 26, 2011 6:57 pm

Introduction to The main characters..
D.T. (ME) suave, sophisticated, well mannered, from landed gentry, owned La Maison, La Maison deux, unable to tie his own shoe laces, or choose clothes due to chronic lack of fashion sense.

Wilks. My manservant, butler, cook, and general everything. indeterminate age, had a friend called Sham, (they shared a jungle home with a women, who died in a locked room mystery.. (fan death)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fan_death


Wilks then shot himself with a walking stick gun to hide the fact he killed Sham

Baidhnobas... creator, general go getter, but tends to forget things like proper restraints, what happens if you dabble like Frankenstein did, matches when going into dark tunnels to find such creations.

Mbwun, who is reclusive, possible ex nun, type figure who lives in Dragonwyck.. and is generally the salt of the earth, would do anything for anybody, but has a vicious streak a mile wide, if anybody is caught entering her cave system, under her house, without her permission.

Then we come to Sladist, mad, deranged, talks to Tessa the dog a lot, wanders about in a daze.. made mutant bunnies in the La Maison before this one.. but can generally be relied upon to break the ice, and any etiquette what so ever at dinner parties, banquets etc.

And finally Ginger, who sells Organic fertiliser, is a winner six times of the salesperson of the year, lives, breathes and possible eats organic fertiliser, and will sell her soul to the devil for an order, or TV show, or several self help books about gardening..

La Maison (now La Maison deux( see below)and Plot of land with lake(( see below, below))

The story so far...
Wilks my manservant, was hit by a stale banana thrown by Aunt Aggy, who was very old and kept in an Oubliette, because she smelt, and her face slips, which scares people.
Aunt Aggy died by falling on a machete in the basement.
Whilst Wilks was hiding in the back garden of La Maison (a jungle) a new servant was sent called

ASCOT..
Hermaphrodite.. ambiguous genitalia, not sure him / her self.
Found dead with Machete through head on Halloween.
Then came..
MIKAEL HARMAN..
Female serial killer, sister of Bratislava gunman, tried to kill me by poisoning, until killed by Wilks, who hid in a suit of armour.( Look a U)

Then came Auntie COD..Candice Orphelia Dalryhmpl (no E).. who is possibly a zombie, as she cannot die, no matter how many times Sladist tries.
Then with Sladist making mutant bunnies in the cellar i went mad, or was it the christmas tipple from Wilks..

ORANGE PIPS
LEMON PEEL
CORN SYRUP
ANTI FREEZE

But probably because La Maison built on Toxic swamp.. and actually has more land than previously thought.
After RYODARAKU from Dr Wesley - Leyden-Jar, i was cured, ish.. and found myself in Mbwun's abode, called Dragonwyck, sprouting wonderful chat up lines

After fighting off the homicidal cannibals which were the kitchen staff, and Sladist going all mopey, moody, and talking to Tessa about not having a castle, and a road trip in a spacious fifth wheel caravan thingy..
We Returned to La Maison Deux..
Where we met and killed off Sham (see above, under Wilks)
Then due to a mix up with Finances on the family estate, a Ponzi scheme and the stock market crash, La Maison Deux was blown up by Oompah Loopah Ninjas (possibly), or maybe to get the insurance( almost definitely maybe)
Aunty COD survived again..

Wilks and D.T. died (ish)

One year later, Two people looking exactly like Wilks and D.T. called Kwils and W.E.B.,from the C.O.D. corporation appeared and tried to turn the town into either a theme park, or Funeral World, or use a mountain of tyres and earth, and fertiliser to hide a waste recycling plant underneath to provide free electricity in the village.

Mbwun thought it was a bit dodgy, and using Baid’s creation they ran away.
(They were cloned from the DNA of Wilks and D.T.)
http://learn.genetics.utah.edu/content/tech/cloning/whatiscloning/

Wilks and D.T. were found hiding by Mbwun, underneath Dragonwyck (now a health spa) After going on an extended cruise, and smuggling themselves down there.

The story, or lack of one, continues.
Last edited by dreab trawets on Mon Sep 26, 2011 10:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
“After my head has been chopped off, will I still be able to hear, at least for a moment , the sound of my own blood gushing from my neck? That would be the best pleasure to end all pleasure. “
User avatar
dreab trawets
 
Posts: 1820
Joined: Sun Jun 15, 2008 2:39 pm
Location: like someone had combined shrimp and tomato soup and then forgot to put the lid on the blender

Postby Baidhnobas » Mon Sep 26, 2011 9:49 pm

Well, chaps, we've saved the town, wonderful, wonderful...Top-notch, spiffing, what.
(how can anyone talk like that? I couldn't without breaking into gales of laughter)
Oh, I say, what a charming little cottage this is. Dragonwyck, eh? Reminds me of my old mater's uncle's sister-in-law's cousin's astronomy tutor's nephew's place. And what a fine bird dog you have here! Hello there, girl.
Here, let me introduce myself. Colonel Ashby, James Winthrow Audacious Ashby, late of Calcutta. Yes, I know, peculiar name, Audacious--old family name. One of my ancestors was born on HMS Audacious, during the Glorious First of June. Bit of a long story as to how that happened.
I say, are you quite all right, gentlemen and ma'am? You look a bit peculiar.
Immorality I know. Immortality I cannot judge.
User avatar
Baidhnobas
 
Posts: 100
Joined: Thu Sep 09, 2010 11:38 pm
Location: Lost. After a while one circle of Hell looks pretty much like another.

Postby i.am.sladist » Mon Sep 26, 2011 9:58 pm

Mean while, back at the Bat Cave ....
I am Evil.
I am Woman.
I am Sladist.
User avatar
i.am.sladist
 
Posts: 451
Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 3:37 am
Location: Standing at a window, admiring a lovely view ...

Postby Baidhnobas » Mon Sep 26, 2011 10:05 pm

You have a bat cave? Dear girl! Excellent! Science has always been the true love of all Ashbys. I myself am an amateur biologist...I think...I've got all sorts of texts and treatises on the subject lying around, so I must use them for something, what?
Immorality I know. Immortality I cannot judge.
User avatar
Baidhnobas
 
Posts: 100
Joined: Thu Sep 09, 2010 11:38 pm
Location: Lost. After a while one circle of Hell looks pretty much like another.

Postby i.am.sladist » Mon Sep 26, 2011 10:07 pm

And an animal skull! You do still have the animal skull, no? Displayed prominently in the apartment????
I am Evil.
I am Woman.
I am Sladist.
User avatar
i.am.sladist
 
Posts: 451
Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 3:37 am
Location: Standing at a window, admiring a lovely view ...

Postby dreab trawets » Mon Sep 26, 2011 10:09 pm

It begins again..

Oh I say, its you..
To Wilks, out of earshot..
Wilks.. is he an Ashby?
Aunt Aggy said something about the Ashby's..

New money you see...
Not old money, new money.. she tolerated them, from afar, with a cattle prod..

Couldnt trace their money back beyond the gold rush of Snotten Bogbury. 1800's..
You see new money, and such an inferior boarding school.. effingham park.. remember a polo match where Throw up Ashby was divot stomping..
Also known as Cry Baby Ashby (initials)

Back to throwup Ashby
Yes, can I help you..?

:lol: :lol:
Last edited by dreab trawets on Mon Sep 26, 2011 10:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
“After my head has been chopped off, will I still be able to hear, at least for a moment , the sound of my own blood gushing from my neck? That would be the best pleasure to end all pleasure. “
User avatar
dreab trawets
 
Posts: 1820
Joined: Sun Jun 15, 2008 2:39 pm
Location: like someone had combined shrimp and tomato soup and then forgot to put the lid on the blender

Postby i.am.sladist » Mon Sep 26, 2011 10:17 pm

Perhaps you can help me .... My dog Tessa and I are in need of proper accommodations. Have a spare castle?
I am Evil.
I am Woman.
I am Sladist.
User avatar
i.am.sladist
 
Posts: 451
Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 3:37 am
Location: Standing at a window, admiring a lovely view ...

Postby dreab trawets » Mon Sep 26, 2011 10:21 pm

Oh you castle tart, Sladist,
Anything for a castle, and a bit of land to frolic on..

Well I am sure this Ashby is made of more sense..

Weren't you at Effingham?
Think I remember you from a polo match..
Colonel Ashby did you say?

Oh well, you can only rise So far before you hit the glass ceiling..
“After my head has been chopped off, will I still be able to hear, at least for a moment , the sound of my own blood gushing from my neck? That would be the best pleasure to end all pleasure. “
User avatar
dreab trawets
 
Posts: 1820
Joined: Sun Jun 15, 2008 2:39 pm
Location: like someone had combined shrimp and tomato soup and then forgot to put the lid on the blender

Postby i.am.sladist » Mon Sep 26, 2011 10:25 pm

I am not a pop tart.
And you OWE me a castle!
And no, I didn't go to Effingham, or any other *F*ing place.
But I accept the offer of a glass ceiling for my castle. That should help keep the bugs out ...
I am Evil.
I am Woman.
I am Sladist.
User avatar
i.am.sladist
 
Posts: 451
Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 3:37 am
Location: Standing at a window, admiring a lovely view ...

Postby dreab trawets » Mon Sep 26, 2011 10:28 pm

Oh dear, too much nectar of the gods..

Slowly for you Sladist..

Colonel Ashby went to Effingham Park..

You went to Effing Hell, High School for the interestingly unique..

And it is Castle Tart, not pop tart..
Oh dear, the time away has done you know favours (still a u!!)



:lol: :lol:
“After my head has been chopped off, will I still be able to hear, at least for a moment , the sound of my own blood gushing from my neck? That would be the best pleasure to end all pleasure. “
User avatar
dreab trawets
 
Posts: 1820
Joined: Sun Jun 15, 2008 2:39 pm
Location: like someone had combined shrimp and tomato soup and then forgot to put the lid on the blender

Postby i.am.sladist » Mon Sep 26, 2011 10:39 pm

I shall be traveling abroad again next month ... woUld yoU be so kind as to look after Tessa? She's a bit traUmatized still by the sUdden loss of Wilks in her life. You mUst cUrl Up with her on the floor and sing her to sleep.
I am Evil.
I am Woman.
I am Sladist.
User avatar
i.am.sladist
 
Posts: 451
Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 3:37 am
Location: Standing at a window, admiring a lovely view ...

Postby dreab trawets » Mon Sep 26, 2011 10:41 pm

Yet again Sladist..
Wilks is fine, he is here arranging bed linen, and a midnight snack of pigs trotters..

Care to join me in the repast..
Tessa is leaping about with an arm from the crypt on the island..

Oh she wants you to throw it for her..
Clever dog..
“After my head has been chopped off, will I still be able to hear, at least for a moment , the sound of my own blood gushing from my neck? That would be the best pleasure to end all pleasure. “
User avatar
dreab trawets
 
Posts: 1820
Joined: Sun Jun 15, 2008 2:39 pm
Location: like someone had combined shrimp and tomato soup and then forgot to put the lid on the blender

Postby GINGER » Mon Sep 26, 2011 10:52 pm

Hello Colonel Ashby, do you know about organic fertiliser?
One side of me says I would like to talk to her, date her. The other side of me says I wonder how her head would look on a stick (Edmund Kemper)
User avatar
GINGER
 
Posts: 109
Joined: Thu Jun 09, 2011 10:59 am
Location: Everybody needs a little madness, or you would never cut the rope and become free.

Postby i.am.sladist » Mon Sep 26, 2011 10:54 pm

She IS a clever dog! And I have taught her a trick or two ...
What ever you do, do not say ...
T - I - P - P - Y - T - O - E
Good thing she cannot spell ...
I have trained her to attack to kill on command with that phrase.


Oh my Tessa, you're such a good girl! YES YOU ARE!!!
I am Evil.
I am Woman.
I am Sladist.
User avatar
i.am.sladist
 
Posts: 451
Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 3:37 am
Location: Standing at a window, admiring a lovely view ...

Postby dreab trawets » Mon Sep 26, 2011 10:54 pm

Too late Ginger, Ashby has scurried off..
Saw Sladist, or Mbwun, or even possibly you, and high tailed it back to the cottage he has rented out..
Did you see?
An 2008 number plate car..
TSK
TSK
“After my head has been chopped off, will I still be able to hear, at least for a moment , the sound of my own blood gushing from my neck? That would be the best pleasure to end all pleasure. “
User avatar
dreab trawets
 
Posts: 1820
Joined: Sun Jun 15, 2008 2:39 pm
Location: like someone had combined shrimp and tomato soup and then forgot to put the lid on the blender

Next

Return to Random Notes

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

cron